Everything I Need to Know About Personal Discovery I Learned from Anime
Posted by Ben Lumley on Feb 5, 2010 in Dealing with Problems, Think Differently, Young People | 39 comments
photo credit: roybattysbackpocket
A guest post by Linda Wolf of Insanely Serene, inspired by a 14-year-old friend.
Linda Wolf writes Insanely Serene, a blog devoted to her passion for peace of mind and serenity. She shares her experiences and offers practical suggestions for moving from low self-esteem to powerful self-confidence. You can also find her on Twitter at @insanelyserene
I have been privileged to be a part of a 14-year-old friend’s personal discovery journey. I’ve only known her for a short time – we met when she was 12, and now she’s 14. Back then, she identified as an “emo” kid, with tendencies toward goth and punk dress styles (read “black”). She was shy, introverted, and sometimes hostile, and she had left school (to be homeschooled) because social judgment and cruelty had driven her to anxiety and depression.
With the freedom to pursue her own interests, this girl developed a passion for anime. She was particularly attracted to the genres of magical girl, shōjo (young girl), romance, high school, and adventure anime. She started with “Sailor Moon,” and in the last five years has moved on to watch hundreds of different anime and thousands of episodes. Although to a conventional point of view, spending so much time watching TV or Internet seems a waste of time, it turns out to be intensive self-developmental time for my friend. These are just a few of the many things she’s learned from watching anime.
Shugo Chara
The story centers on elementary school girl Amu Hinamori, who, while popular at school, is actually shy and introverted. Amu wishes for the courage to be her true self with her friends and is rewarded with three colorful eggs that hatch into three Guardian Characters: Ran, Miki, and Su. Each of these characters demonstrates an aspect of Amu’s ideal, and true, self. Ran represents Amu’s wish to be more honest and athletic, Miki her desire to be more level-headed and artistic, and Su her hope of being more caring and improving her domestic skills. She has real world struggles like fitting in at school, feeling alienated, and being moody, a contrast to the polite girls who usually represent the shōjo genre.
As my friend said, “If you want to understand me, watch Shugo Chara.” More recently she told me that she’s amazed how closely her own development has paralleled Amu’s, as the series is still ongoing. Like Amu, she is exploring her strengths and weaknesses, striving to know herself better, and learning to feel good about herself internally and in the world.
Death Note
From Wikipedia, “This series centers on Light Yagami, a university student who discovers a supernatural notebook, the ‘Death Note,’ dropped on Earth by a shinigami (death god). The Death Note grants its user the ability to kill anyone whose face they have seen, by writing the victim’s name in the notebook. The story follows Light’s attempt to create and rule a world cleansed of evil using the notebook, and the complex conflict between him, his opponents, and a mysterious detective known to the world only as L.”
Light decides to use the notebook to kill criminals and others he believes “deserve” death. Power and obsession drive him to an “any means to the end” approach until he is wiling to kill anyone, criminal or not, who gets in his way, including L. The series is actually for adults, exploring the darker sides of human motivation and morality.
For my young friend, the show was a way to investigate her own beliefs about what is good and evil, right and wrong in human behavior. In her emo days, she once wore a name tag to an event that said, “Don’t talk to me, touch me, or annoy me in any way, shape, or form, unless you have a DEATH WISH…you have been warned,” a reference to the power of having the Death Note. Though apparently angry, the message indicated a vulnerable soul looking for strength and protection. With her closest friends and family, she asked what we would each do with such a notebook, how would we use it. Her thinking has evolved to a place now where she believes it wrong to even think of or wish for someone’s death, no matter the circumstances. I suspect that today, a party name tag for her would reflect more of the positive, cheerful, and life-loving energy she exudes every day.
Avatar: The Last Airbender
Not technically an anime, Avatar is an American animated television series on Nickelodeon. The main character, Aang (~age 12), also known as the Avatar, is the only person who can save the world by defeating the evil Fire Lord and ending the destructive war with the Fire Nation. Zuko (~age 15), the son of the Fire Lord, who has been disgraced and exiled, believes he can regain his position as heir if he finds and destroy Aang. In his journey, Zuko aggressively pursues Aang and through other means is reinstated to his princehood, but in the end, he decides to defy his war-focused people and join Aang in bringing peace to all nations.
My friend identified with and was fascinated by Zuko. His is the character that goes through the most complete transformation in the series, from selfish, destructive, and motivated by revenge to collaborative, concerned for the welfare of others, and motivated by harmony. From Zuko, she has picked up the value of integrity – defining one’s true values, aligning one’s actions to reflect that authenticity, and being willing to stand up for them in the face of societal disapproval.
I find the journey of this young woman inspiring and miraculous. In two short years she has come from having overwhelming anxiety and self-destructive thoughts to having confidence in herself, a positive outlook on life, and an ability to be present and happy in the moment. It took me 20+ years to get there. At her age, I was obsessed with Harlequin romances, which confirmed the pattern I was developing as a teenager of looking outside myself – largely to romantic relationships – for my happiness. While there are of course many factors in both of our stories, it can’t be denied, and she claims it quite boldly, that anime has played a powerful role in her maturation and commitment to her own authentic self.
What’s your favorite anime? Why? Is there a category of books, movies, or television that inspired you to discover and love your true self?
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Yeah my big inspirations from stories come from the fantasy and sci-fi genre. Tales of heroes are great ways for me to be inspired and look inwards.
Thanks so much Linda for posting for me
My friend is quite into Anime, but personally I just can't get into it. But I love hearing how people find motivation from different methods!
That's cool Tom – Amine's not every one's cup of tea. Anything with some kinds of hero in it is enough for me
I'm not into anime actually but there was an anime a good friend of mine suggested I watch about this kid who had a computerised friend who was a female. It was interesting because even though I'm just not that into anime, it still connected with me in the way of the computer and made things interesting. It's good to know that you can get through things with hope and by using a form of something that connects with you so deeply. Cool post!
Yeah Eric – it's such a great post. I think for a lot of people it's going to show that you can look to things that sometimes other people don't look to, to bring you hope and inspiration.
They say that inspiration is found is the most unusual of places.
I like this post quite a bit and there is more here than a review of anime. It demonstrates to me that when someone doesn't feel like they have control or focus they look for a way to get it. Certainly you can say this young woman retreated but I think it is more than that. She found life overwhelming at this stage in her life, not unusual for her age. Rather than deal with that head on, simply because she wasn't ready to, she re-directed her attention to a place where she could cope and grow until she was ready to re-emerge. It's a bit like being in a big storm. There is no sense in trying to fight it head on. Seek shelter and let it pass. You can learn a lot about yourself while the life swirls on and pick the time when you are ready to re-engage in a more standard way. I think she did that well. A very nice post Linda (and Ben).//Marc
This is a beautiful post, Linda, and thank you Ben for posting it.
I am fascinated by the whole concept of story and how we use it to inform our lives. So it's amazing to find this little girl, whose life has been so difficult, discover story and use it positively to build her sense of what things are about. It's so creative and resourceful!
That's a really interesting assessment Marc. Thanks for sharing. I suppose in a way you're right – when we feel out of control, we retreat and regroup until we're ready to emerge stronger. I think this also is the cause of people becoming angry and frustrated in situations that they have lost control of – by become those things they are retreating into a state of mind that protects them. Sadly though I think too many people stay there during the storm and never re-engage.
Yeah I've always drawn a lot of meaning from hero stories, probably because of my need for significance. By dipping into those stories I can evaluate, subconsciously, how others battle through so I can apply it to my own life.
You're right of course, the fact this young lady used story to positively grow and change is a brilliant thing.
Ben,
Thanks so much for the opportunity to guest post on your blog! I had such fun writing this with my friend, and sharing her journey. I'm glad to be part of 6 Aliens, since I really enjoy your ideas and writing.
Linda
Marc,
Wow, this is dead on, very true for this friend of mine. She was overwhelmed by the world (mainly social pressures) and turned to an arena where things made more sense to her. She's slowly reemerging into the world and using the lessons she learned in real life friendships and interactions. It's a true joy to watch. Thanks for your insight.
Linda
Tom and Eric,
I'm with you. I was never that into anime myself until this young person came into my life. What's been fascinating is watching how she uses it to understand herself. That makes me interested in the content, and story lines, to follow her growth. There are actually some quite sophisticated and deep animes, like XXXholic, which is about a team of witches who go around helping people overcome their obsessions/bad behaviors. Pretty fascinating stuff. As Ben says, wherever you get your inspiration is great, as long as it works for you.
Thanks for reading.
Linda
Christine,
Thanks so much for reading and commenting. That's a really good point about story. I love stories. For me, it was books, all my life, and then movies added in there. I love to lose myself in others' stories. Sometimes I'm not even sure what I'm learning, but it's always something. Sometimes I'm like a little kid and go back over and over to the same story, because I'm still gleaning some meaning. Jane Austen is that for me. What stories fascinate you?
Linda
I have liked anime since I was a kid, though not my passion and I do not follow many of the series, if it is on I will most likely watch it. Anime just like anything else is art, it's purpose is to entertain and send out a message that the artist feels most passionate on. Sitting down watching tons of tv could be harmful but at the same time if you are picking up the message and the attributes in your life improved as if before you sat down and watched an episode on tv. This is just your way of finding different path's to being a better person and if this is the way you do it, by all means don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. I really enjoyed the post and I will be following insanelyserene more often.
Dude! Death Note and Avatar! Two of my favourites…
Though I also like Fruits Basket a lot I will admit.
I do it in Karate all the time. Getting my head handed to me in a sparring match, or my likely someone just coming at me aggressively, I just step out of the way. Why engage if you don't need to or aren't ready to? She did the same thing, in a way here. It's actually a relatively mature action she took, I think.
Sure Linda. I hope people reading the post go that. It really didn't strike me as about Anime, per se. I think her reaction is not all that unusual for younger people. Of course you never know how some people will react. To Ben's point, some people just stay. It's there that the person needs a good mentor and I am assuming you provided that in some sort of way as you observed her situation.
That's very insightful Marc – I love it.
I try very hard to step aside while someone is coming at me during sparring but my speed is lacking at the moment and I'm not quick enough to get out of the way.
Linda it's an absolute pleasure to have you post here.
Hey Ryan
I think that you're right about watching too much tv can be harmful but I think that ifits a learning experience then it's only the same as having a kid who spends all their time reading. Its only harmful in my mind if it's mindless. That makes sense?
Hey Heather – I'll have to check those out thanks
I also like the idea of stepping out of the way – I call it detachment. Let others have their anger and aggression, just because someone else is in a bad mood doesn't mean I have to be. I went internal when faced with life's challenges as a young person, and it served me. Others are very outward in their expression, and it may work for them. Eventually it's about finding balance within ourselves and in our relationships. Thanks Marc and Ben for your conversation on this topic.
Linda
Marc, another really good point – having role models. I have learned that the best way I can be a friend, or a parent, or a partner, is to be my best self, model healthy emotional behaviors, and let go of others' responses. It's really the only way I've found to have an influence on others, and that happens only if they choose to allow it.
Heather, seriously, I have to introduce you to my pal. You guys have a lot in common. ;->
Ryan,
Thanks for reading the post and for your thoughts on TV. I agree with Ben that anything could really be harmful or helpful, whether TV, Internet, books, movies, video games, etc. I think it all depends on the attitude of the person engaging. If you're trying to escape your life, all of these things can be harmful. If you're looking for meaning, all can offer information and experiences that help you learn. I admit I was surprised that my friend learned so much about herself from something I equated to “cartoons.” I've learned a lot about anime and have grown in my respect for the genre.
Linda
You totally should Linda! Sounds fun to me ^_^
Let me know what you think Ben
Haha, for a minute their I thought you were talking about me!
Ya man, I agree with you completely.
I think I have also learned from Anime that the point of life is to enjoy. I learned this because in so many Animes, they have a character that portrays just that! Once again, take Avatar for example, Aang at the beginning of the series seems based on that very point of view! Due to these things, I have now found great enjoyment in life, so much more so, that I've been able to let myself enjoy things!
Thank you, Linda, for writing this post about me!
-Beth
Hey Beth – so cool to have you stop by and leave a comment.
It excellent that you've found a medium that excites and inspires you. Many people never find that.
You are so welcome, my lovely friend. I love your point here about enjoying life, such a good one. You are a model for me in this regard! Hey, you and Heather should talk! love, linda
Like Ben, I also enjoy hero stories. I know it has had mixed reviews, but I really liked the Avatar film. I like it when the underdog comes back to win.
I also like stories that depict reality in so much detail that we're left asking “is this it?” I like Virginia Wolfe's Mrs Dalloway for that. Mrs Dalloway has a perfect, “just so” life, apparently. But as we plough through a mundane day in her life, it becomes clear that she has missed out on so much because she's living the life society required her to live, rather than one of her choosing. Whilst her life doesn't change in the story, it gives the reader the chance to learn the lesson.
Conversely, I like stories where the main character is continually very much themselves, no matter the consequence. Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead is brilliant for that.
As you can see, you've struck a rich vein here, Linda. Really interesting!
Christine,
Christine,
Wow, really rich thoughts here. I am not familiar with Mrs. Dalloway, though your assessment is really interesting, I'll have to pick it up. What I love about Jane Austen's main characters is that they grow over the course of the book, learning themselves better and better and getting more and more in alignment with their integrity. Except perhaps Persuasion, where Anne Elliott has the same values throughout, it's just a matter of her demonstrating them to the world (particularly her beau). I also like what you say about The Fountainhead, and though I've read it, I'd like to pick up her books again. What I loved about Avatar was not so much the hero aspect but the fact that in the end, it really was the earth that saved herself, or rather, ensured that balance was preserved.
I think my favorite kind of stories now are those of people who have had trauma or tragedy and become closed down because of it, who find a way back to life. Addiction, abuse, crime, and then redemption. Glass Castle, Atonement, The Gargoyle are some recent examples.
Thanks for your insights!
Linda
Never did quite get into Animé, my son watches it now and then. I suppose I grew up with Disney.
Amine is great Robert – definitely worth a watch!
Sorry guys, I have to say I am not into it either, I like keeping it real; but whatever inspires someone to be better then I'm all for it. Its a really great story, especially where teens are concerned, they stray to easily and we have be on the look out for the right kind of characters. i know I have had two teens….great job.
Thats ok. I think it's important that we each find things to inspire us in life, whether that's from fantasy fiction, arts, music or something else. As along as we can find inspiration from it then that's what counts.
Hiya, this was a really high quality article. I’d like to blog like this also – taking time and real effort to make a good article… but what can I say… I procrastinate alot and never seem to get something done.
Thanks. I’m glad you enjoyed it