Putting A Time Limit On Who You Are?
Posted by Ben Lumley on Apr 19, 2010 in Success, Thinking Differently | 22 comments
Today’s post is written by Jared Matthew Kessler. Jared writes for jaredmatthewkessler.com, simple unconventional insights (for you and your business). I’m thrilled to have such a talented writer like Jared here. I hope you enjoy this as much as I did.
Time and time again, I see these self imposed time limits people put on things – and if a goal or dream doesn’t happen during the time we set for it to happen… people just seem to be settling for a regular job.
I’ll be honest, though… this same thing happened to me.
Not just with my book – but just about everything I’ve done. The thing is, I believe we need to change and evolve to a certain point. But changing yourself to the core just to “pay the bills?”
C’mon that is ridiculous!
So how do you keep pressing on and at the same time, keep true to yourself (even if things don’t happen during the time you want it to)? *Lift yourself up, don’t beat yourself up.
Just a few weeks ago I saw a sign that says, “Overnight success is 20 years in the making.” I thought, “Shit… I remember it saying 10 years. Who just added the extra 10?”
So even though things might take a bit longer to achieve than initially expected, I keep my sanity by doing a few things. The biggest thing I do? I find a positive way to escape when I sometimes hit a wall I can’t get through.
It’s true that escaping through music might not put any food on your table, but your mental sanity will give you a fresh new outlook when you revisit
the things you’ve been working on.
In short, it should give you a great little lift. If not, perhaps you need to change the music you’ve been doing or listening to?
*Are you “busy,” productive, or busy being productive?
Today it’s easy to be busy, but not really go anywhere.
Just the other day I looked at my Twitter account and thought… “Holy crap. All of these people I’m ‘following’ are distracting me more than helping me.”
So I decided to go through everyone I was “following” and delete those I didn’t really resonate with. It was liberating to do (to say the least).
So let me ask you, “Is there anything in your life that is distracting you or throwing you off track in your life that you can easily get rid of?” If so, do
something about it now – you don’t need the distraction.
*Remember that it’s good to be you. Being someone else, attracts people that don’t know who you really are and in return… they accept you for who you really aren’t.
This leads to mass confusion from an internal perspective. That is why out of the 30 or so jobs I temped to fund my own business, I couldn’t really get ahead. People THOUGHT they knew me based on my job title – not based on who I really was… putting me inside their own little box that I could never really understand or care to fit in anyway.
So in return, I wound up creating my own little box that people like you and I CAN fit into.
So anywho… these are just a few simple unconventional insights on helping you to live you – without beating yourself up over not achieving certain things when you thought you would.
Certainly there are a ton of other ideas (that I hope you can share here with everyone). If not, just do what you know to do and don’t do what you know you shouldn’t be doing. It’s that simple.
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Ben Lumley writes about Success and Personal Achievement at 6aliens.com. He is a Personal Achievement Coach and Motivational Speaker.
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Hi Jared,
This is a timely post for me. Being self-employed, I can be quite the taskmaster. Friends need to remind me, 'Hey, you're the boss. Why are you being so hard on yourself?' Well… damn it, I was trying to accomplish xyz within x amount of time!
I'm going through transitions yet again — purging, re-designing, staying true to myself. This time adding more joy and relaxation into the mix. I enjoyed Awake Again and will be by to learn more about your work. Happy to meet you Jared
Cheers to a great week ahead, guys!
“just do what you know to do and don’t do what you know you shouldn’t be doing.” I love that! What a simple test to help us find our passion. Thanks!
Topi
Hi Jarred, you were right on about the distraction on Twitter. And for me, it doesn't stop there. There's Facebook, Google Analytics, Google Adsense, espn.com, and more. I've realized hours on end can be lost just by flipping back and forth between these, like television channels, waiting for something 'good'. And don't get me wrong, there's some good things here. But I don't need to spend hours surfing to get it.
Question: “About how many people is the right amount to follow on Twitter?”
I wish I was more of a task master at times as I can often drift off into a world of mine on social and the like.
It's about getting that balance though isn't it?
Not bad advice is it Topi?
I think the right amount is the amount where you're getting only value and no filler. What that number is I think varies for all of us.
For me I'm a numbers guy and the bigger the better
Hey Kim,
Thanks so much for your comment. I always love transitions (and of course some suck pretty bad). Like me you're hard on yourself because you have a vision for something, and you just can't wait to get it out – so we keep working on it until it matches that vision and it's not always a pretty process.
But friends that that are great, Kim. Never be afraid of transitions, keep evolving and stay true to yourself. But hey… you knew that already (I was just here to remind you of what you already know to do).
Thanks so much for your comment, Topi. You know, sometimes a ton of overcomplicated stuff out there gets us away from some of the simple things.
Their is definitely power in simplicity so keep on keeping on.
Thanks Jeremy. You know distractions can be both sucky and helpful. In my opinion their sucky when we use it as a way to procrastinate doing some we know we should be doing. Their great when we are working past our limit and need a way to escape every now and then. So I think it's good to have balance and love a “Judge Judy” every now and then. LOL!
You know that's an interesting question about how many people you should follow on Twitter. I would say delete people whose tweets you don't read. It might take a while to do (and still have a ways to go there because it's not a top priority for me)… but as you do, you'll create a TON less noise in your life – and that feels great.
And shit, I tell people right off the bat that sign up on my newsletter to unsubscribe if I'm adding to that “noise.” It's important.
Time is such a fleeting resource and it is finite. I think it is OK to set goals simply to remind yourself (or push yourself to do something) in a certain period of time. That said, and you get to this to some degree here, there is no real point in setting an arbitrary limit on reaching a goal beyond pushing yourself to achieve something. I think the real key is to recognize that time is a finite resource and we all have to be cognizant of that as we choose where we make investments. It's truly the only case I can think of where something that is free is actually worth so much and yet so many people take it for granted. Thanks for the post.
Yeah I agree Marc but its equally important to be flexible and mindful of the time it may take to achieve our goals.
I love your point about time being an amazing free resource and yet so many take it for granted.
It's important to know what needs to get done and go after it and actually get it done, not just do it. It's also important to understand that you may not get things done when expected so regrouping and figuring out what's next is vital.
Good post!
Very true Eric.
Hope the young one is doing well
For a few years I was persuing a goal, I made good progress then I stretched the goal. Then the financial crisis hit which put the brakes on achieving the goal. After about a year of not progressing my goal directly, but educating myself. I realised I was persuing the wrong goal. Time for realignment. I like this post Jared, thanks for sharing.
Hey bud great post. I really enjoyed it but the only couple of things I have to add is that having a time limit kind of puts a urgency on things. You don't want to take to long on things and let them pass you by. Granted there is exceptions for each circumstance but I am trying to play catch up in my life for really taking to much time for the things I needed done. Other than that I completely agree with you. I do have a few things holding me back but not easily deleted as your distracting tweeters.
I like your point about listening to music to get that needed boost. I am a fan of bands like Nine Inch Nails and Alice in Chains, I know they do not exactly have very positive songs, but they somehow help me start the day motivated and energized.
I was talking to James the other day and we brought up the idea of self reflection. I think its really important because it helps you keep alignment to your goals and flags up the times when you alignment is off or when you need to redefine a goal
Time limits are good but the problem comes when you set them just for the sake of setting them or become to despondent if you don't meet them.
Keep plugging away Ryan. Shoot me an email if you want to talk anything through.
Yeah music pumps me up to Julius even if sometimes the lyrics might not be all that positive.
Sure thing Matthew… thanks for reading/sharing and sorry for the delay in the response.
Just keep on keeping on and I think you'll do just fine.
Well said Ryan. I think your response was great Ben.
Keep on rockin and rollin and just keep doing what you do. Sometimes it's just the last man standing – at the end of the day. And you know… sometimes it's nothing more than just that.
You know? Rock on!
Hey Julius… right on!
That's funny you mention that. I was a HUGE Alice fan back in the day. I also still listen to NIN every now and then. You know, music set's the tone for a lot of things. It also gives you that extra boost you need every now and then to kick some ass. LOL!
You know, I too struggle with listening to “positive” music versus music that… well I just love listening to. It's a balance.
Just make sure you don't go bashing any walls in from listening to Trent or internalize what he's saying all the time. LOL!
Thanks for sharing Julius.