3 sure fire ways to not hear someone

Posted by Ben Lumley on Jul 12, 2010 in Peak Performance, Thinking Differently | 16 comments

photo credit: Ed Yourdon

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. Robert McCloskey

Listening is a key skill. It's a communication skill that we all use, to varying degrees, all of the time. It goes hand in hand with the other major form of communication we use so much, speaking.

When I'm speaking about communication skills, I always stress the importance of listening and how people should do more listening than they do talking. To me, it's the most important skill you can practice if you want to improve and develop yourself. When you're completely listening to someone, you can learn more than you ever dreamed about them and their, life as well as a bit about yourself.

Sadly though many of us don't listen when we really should. Here are my top 3 signs to look for in yourself that will tell you that you're not listening.

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Awareness of self and others is at the heart of better communication, personal development and effectiveness

Posted by Ben Lumley on Apr 12, 2010 in Overcoming Challenges, Productivity, Success, Thinking Differently | 29 comments

This is a guest post by Adrian Swinscoe. Adrian has been called a number of things in his time: coach, consultant, teacher, 2nd brain, problem-solver, speaker, trainer, etc. All he says is that he helps his clients grow their business and loves what he does. He writes on different ways that you can grow your business through adding value to your customers, different growth strategies, building a great team and being a better leader on the blog Ideas for Business Growth.

We are all different and that's great. However, understanding how we are different can help us improve how we engage with other people and our effectiveness in the world. This article, I hope, will help you, using a simple model, better understand yourself, your clients, readers, how you respond/react to people and, also, how to engage more effectively with other people. This is no jiggery-pokery and it's not about being or becoming different people. It’s about improving your awareness of self and others to get the most out of the world around you. It’s well known that people have different ways that they prefer to receive information whether written, heard, seen, felt, experienced or otherwise. These different styles in the scientific world are called visual, auditory and kinesthetic styles. I prefer to name them eyes, ears and feelings styles. Everybody will have their own (or two) leading style(s) whether it is eyes, ears or feelings and they will learn or communicate best when things are presented to them in that style. For example: An ‘eyes’ person will remember graphs, illustrations, and “seeing” new things. An ‘ears’ person will remember sounds and will be stimulated by changes in vocal tome, pitch and pacing. A ‘feelings’ person will learn or receive the information best from “hands on” experience and will remember how he or she “felt”. Thus, more impact may be gained from showing things to ‘eyes’ people, providing interesting sounds for ‘ears’ people, and for working alongside ‘feelings’ people.

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